What Matters & What Does Not…

Posted by on May 16, 2012 No comments

It’s been an interesting start to the dandis marriage story.  3.5 months in and we’re loving it, and already learning lessons and acquiring a special place for this lifetime discipleship relationship.  It is not without a sense of sheer humility that I find many of the petty things I cared about in the past, falling by the way side as I see what God is trying to do as He shapes and refines me.  Personal glory, entitlement, etc… it just seems as life gets real, and as the phase of life changes, a greater perspective is gained.  There are things you simply don’t understand until you’ve got a salaried job working 50+ when you realize how money is a temptation, how the world can offer you things that satisfy you now, but leave you empty.  There are things you simply don’t understand until you have a mortgage when you realize the breadth of responsibility required to own a home.  There are things you simply don’t understand until you’re engaged and are planning a wedding, and working along side who is to become your life long partner in ministry and in your family and callings in life.  There are things you simply don’t understand until you’re married and fight to delete the default thought process of “I, Me, and My” and replace it with “We, Us, and Our.”  Again, when you have kids, when you have more kids, when you get older, the phase of life changes and changes, and still more wisdom comes from each experience. 

Moreover in the past few months, some very real truths have come to the surface about what matters and what does not.  It’s interesting when your world is me centered, how things are actually pretty simple.  I get what I want, I’m happy, I don’t, I’m not.  There is nothing complicated or difficult to understand that.  It’s equally interesting that the mantra of a person being me centered, which is something either unconsciously or maliciously lived by, is something that in the next phase of life, is totally abandoned and done away with.  The question throughout every phase of life seems to be derivatives of that same core mantra of me centeredness.  We may mask it with the added responsibilities of work, or the addition of a spouse to your life, or kids, but at the core, we are who we are, and it just hits you one day… what matters and what does not.  Self glory and the praise of man used to be a prime necessity of life for me, and now, though muted a bit, those sentiments are a distant sinful priority that barely rears its head these days.  Part of it may be some level of apathy at times, but the fact of the matter is there are just more important things in life.  I admittedly confess that even now, the things that I hold to as being prime targets for things that matter, may in my next phase of life, fall down the priority list as the next phase starts.  And this whole experience has led me to one inescapable question… what is the consistent thread that permeates each phase of life… what has been the same, and will always be the same through each season?

And for a moment, let’s just look at this from a logical point of view as an outsider looking in.  I feel like it’s a common thing for people whether they are believers or not to be looking for some level of consistency in their life.  Something dependable, predictable, and foreseeable that offers some level of control.  Even the thrill seekers or new experience seekers in life find their consistency in things that are new and unfamiliar, vs. someone else who finds consistency in things that are known and predictable.  Either way you look at it, consistency wins the game.  So there is some level of self consideration here, when you look at your life, things you value now versus things you valued 5 or 10 years ago, is there much correlation?  And if there is, what is it?  10 or 20 or 30 years down the line, you can do the exercise again and ask yourself, what has remained throughout the years as a consistent basis.  It seems to me at this point in my life that it’s becoming clearer and clearer what things matter.  Family, both in the sense of my new family with Candis, along with her family and my family… work, and church.  It’s no surprise that the straight up biblical model of callings is where we put our chips again and again.  And the argument can be made that these subheadings are so vast and general that of course it would make sense for anyone, but that presumption is based on the premise that these callings are not specific and tailored, which they most definitely are for each individual.

There’s something inexhaustibly joyful about doing something in your life that leads you to see what God is doing in the bigger picture of your life and the lives of people around you.  Oh wait, that’s all the time… since there seems to be a stigmatized view of “God’s plan for us,” that is so narrow and incomplete.  No, the truth is quite literally every last thing you do in your life leads you to see what God is doing in the bigger picture of your life and lives of people around you.  What is great is, there is no limitation to what God is doing in your life when you entrust your life to Him, because every moment is a growth moment, an opportunity to see how God is working and changing you to be more like Him.  And some days that doesn’t sound all that exciting when your life is in shambles, and everything seems to be going wrong.  But it’s pretty incredible when you take a step back, reflect, and look and see what is going on.  What matters and what does not… obviously there is some personal consideration to this question, but at the same time perhaps there isn’t.  If we are bound to the limited scope of the question what matters and what does not, then we are are suffocated by our own perceptions of worth.  I say better to look at things with the eyes of God as He surveys and shepherds us.  What matters is what He says matters, and what doesn’t matter is what He says doesn’t matter.  And is there enough humility in our lives to accept that God is concerned about being glorified, and He is good and just for being so.  Is there equally enough humility for us to accept His more complete and perfect picture, than the messy scribbling job we believe is better?

Seriously… vanity vanity, it is all vanity… how amazingly true certain biblical truths become as you move into different phases of life.  Though fundamentally the story of Jesus’s sacrifice for us is understood at a surface level when we are young, the real journey is seeing how deep that story goes, and how deep the truth of it reverberates in your life.  I’m happy to report that 28 years in, it seems as though the story is getting richer, deeper, denser, and hits home with more thump.  It should be interesting and exciting having Candis with me, as the decades continue to roll on, to see how much richer, deeper, and denser the story hits us as a collective unit.

James 1:11

Posted by on February 22, 2012 No comments

“For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.”  (ESV)

If you’d like to wake up and read scripture and then consider nothing else than the appreciation you have for its directness and “non-beat-around-the-bush”ness then this is one of those morning scriptures.  It starts for the sun rises… haha, how funny, because it’s the morning right now.  What we see here is James comparing the sun rising as well the effect that sun has on basically everything on earth, with how the rich man will fade away in the midst of his pursuits.  When I think about the sun, I think the first thing that comes to mind is this huge ball of light in the sky that also gives some heat and keeps life sustainable here on earth.  But is that what the sun IS, or is that what the sun is TO ME.  Because if we go and investigate further, dig deeper, the sun is quite more than that.  The sun is basically a giant explosion going on 24/7 that emits so much radiation and energy that getting too close to it would vaporize you, and the only reason we are not being destroyed by being near it, is our distance.  I think in the same way, concept of the sun here needs to be understood.  The sun is grace given to us by God, meant to keep life on earth going, and will be here long after we have died.  I think as the sun encompasses the earth, and is an inescapable, undeniable fact of life, so is God’s influence in our lives, and we are subject to being under God’s sovereignty. 

The illustration here is that of a sun that rises in all of its energy, strength, and just by being what it is, the sun being the sun, doing what it does normally, it gives life, sustains people on this planet, yet in some cases, rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass causing the flower to fall, and beauty as we see it to perish.  This is no different than the overall analogy I think James is making here.  Depending on where you are, what your circumstances are, the sun can be something that gently bathes you in light and heat, sustaining you, giving you the resources to survive and to flourish.  In other cases, the same sun can be a scorcher, one that causes that person who is not deeply rooted by streams of water to wither and fall.  Understanding the seriousness of money and the way it can corrupt and deviate a believer from focusing on the Lord, James hits us with the correlation.  That just as the sun for those who have rooted themselves in Christ near streams of water will flourish and welcome the sun, that those who root themselves in Christ as they are financially well off or not will flourish.  Though this is not the “financial flourishing” we’re talking about or thinking about since it is completely separate to being financially well off or poor.  Flourishing is a result of living a life in submission and humility to God’s ultimate sovereignty over everything including your wallet.  James feels like this is a point that is especially pertinent as he writes in his time, and it is just as true today.

So following this line of thought we consider how the pursuit of money as our prime focus can lead us to death.  And perhaps more imminent than that is the understanding that everything under the sun in general is withering, dying away, falling, with its beauty diminishing over time.  Why is it that as a child you had so much enjoyment watching Elmo on TV, and now you don’t?  Diminishing return.  Why is it that what we did in high school is no longer our primary form of entertainment and relaxation?  Diminishing return.  Why is it that one year ago, we did something regularly whether sinful or not that gave us joy and pleasure in our lives, and now we don’t do that anymore?  Diminishing return.  Imagine now, why we pursue what we pursue today, fame, authority, money, position… because at the end of the day, if those things are not redeemed as we use them for the Lord, they are ultimately going to follow the same pattern of diminishing returns.  I think James means to be very clear here… look at what you cherish, what you hold dear, and what you live for.  If it is not for the Lord, or to the Lord, or of the Lord, you can expect that it will lose its beauty, lose its appeal, and lose its “feeding effect” in your life.

Now for a not-yet-believer, this is horrible news.  Because the fight, the clawing and conflict and difficulty and trials related to getting what you want in this life will never end, and you’ll never get to where you are fully satisfied because it will always be novelty in the moment, and then fade away as old as it loses its appeal to your heart.  But thank God we have been repurposed ourselves in Christ, and thank God that when we do things and pursue things in an effort to show God’s glory in our lives, that the fulfillment comes no matter what the result, no matter what the pursuit, no matter the path we take in honest pursuit of showing Christ in our lives.  Thank God that the grace He shows to His people does not wither, does not fall, and maintains its perfect beauty in perfection.  What a gift we’ve been given if we’d only take hold of it daily, moment by moment..

James 1:9 – 10

Posted by on February 21, 2012 No comments

Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away.

This verse is great because to me it’s like sticking an ice pick into your eye while yelling, “everything you know is wrong.”  Money is referenced a lot in the bible, and James uses it here to put into perspective a few things.  The lowly brother meaning the less than fortunate brother financially, and rich meaning the rich.  This is one of those verses that forces you to look through the eyes of God rather than at your own perception of what’s going on in your life.  It’s easy for us all to consider our financial station in life and… perhaps nothing else at times.  Either way, whether you are poor, or rich, or anything in between, the concept of money forces you to look and consider the world.  It’s a natural response to it, and we unconsciously do it a lot.  It’s easy when you don’t have a lot to focus on yourself and say, hey I don’t have enough, and then to look at the world and see people richer than you and say why don’t I have as much as that person does.  On the flip side, if you’re richer, it’s easy to focus on yourself and say, hey, what can I get to fulfill myself, and then look at the world, and see people less rich than you and think that you’re some how better than they are.  Still again, you can be in between and find that you look at those richer and those poorer, and want for more as you see the rich, and scoff as you see the poor, again very me-centered and self centered instead of looking at Christ.

So look here, James says let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, that is to say let someone who is in this case poor, or to extend what James is saying, maybe poor in spirit, or not feelin’ so great about life or someone who’s depressed and seemingly has nothing positive going on in their lives, to look at God and to boast, and to be positive and encouraged by the fact that we are given our justified status as Christ is.  That we are seen as Christ, and carry the membership, carry the status, and carry the inheritance.  On the flip side, let the rich boast in his humiliation, that is to say, at least the way I see it, to indicate that being of higher financial status does nothing to help or ruin your standing before God in it of itself.  Does a larger bank account or prosperity or good times in life mark that God is truly working in someone’s life?  Well Joel Osteen, who I have personally dubbed, “the leader leading thousands to an eternal grave,” would have you think there’s a correlation between great things happening for you in your life financially or in some other way, with your right standing with God, and that just couldn’t be any more unbiblical and false.  Wealth is here today, and gone tomorrow… likewise, wealth has meaning on earth but is meaningless in the eyes of the Lord who look at the heart. 

So this is the call James makes to us, that no matter where you are in your financial station or what’s going on in your life, there is a perspective, a Godly perspective you must carry with you.  He who is not of the Lord will be threshed out of the pile like chaff and burned.  So this is sort of a great verse for me in the middle of the week to think on a meditate on.  First off asking myself, do I consider my financial situation and dwell on it constantly and live my life in service to that situation, or do I surrender that to God and live knowing I shall keep none of it, as I have inherited the infinity that is God’s blessing in my life above all.  Then next, considering, do I consider my situations in life in general, and dwell on it constantly and live my life in service or burdened by those situations?  Or, do I surrender those things to God knowing that He is above all things, and does things because He loves me for my own good, and He is good for doing these things? 

I’ve been meeting with people lately, and just realizing that there’s a lot of battle going on.  The way God hopes to bless and grow people, are being skewed and the evil one is using to discourage and depress God’s people.  So reading this verse really puts things into a Godly perspective.  Exaltation to be with Christ and carry His standing before God, to those who are depressed, downcast, and feel hopeless.  And yet again, a call to humility, and the sharp lesson that all you hope to accumulate here on earth will not go on a second past when we are carried off to be with God in heaven.  Interesting that in both cases, we are forced to consider what God’s view of things are, and I think that’s the overlying theme in this short passage.  Focus on Christ, look at what He’s doing, look at how He’s doing it, and consider all things in light of knowing He is good, and doing good, and loving us through it.  Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.

CFC Sound Engineers

Posted by on February 20, 2012 No comments

I’ve been back and forth about whether or not to write something about the sound engineers that basically run every single event CFC holds.  I’ve been a member of the congregation for some years, watching setup, worshipping and benefitting from the sacrificial servants who came before me both in the context of leading worship at CFC, and those who did the sound engineering back the day.  I’ve been a musician on stage having experienced leading worship for CFC, and understanding the privilege and responsibility of that place.  I’ve also been the primary sound engineer for CFC for a long time, and actually this is probably the aspect of my service to worship at CFC that never stopped for me.  From the very first day I arrived, to today, my heart has been to support the worship at our church by any means that I could, and a large part of that has been the sound engineering.  So having served in these various contexts, and even still now, I had to sit down and consider what would be gained from talking about this to the public.  It is something that I think goes overlooked, something that potentially becomes taken advantage of, and it’s not anyone’s fault in the malicious sense.  I think it is instead that people just don’t have any idea what really goes on, what it really takes, and the kind of knowledge, dedication, and spirituality is necessary to serve our church CFC (who I believe carries a chief concern for excellence in worship as a means for being relevant and contextually supportive in doing ministry in today’s current American climate).  So the purpose of this post is to let everyone know what really goes on, and hopefully to instill a new public appreciation for what these guys are charged to do on a weekly basis.

To start, in case you didn’t know, our church is nomadic.  We travel from one venue to the next, we come in with people in the thousands, use a facility, and then leave the facility in the same or many times better condition than we arrived in.  Now for any CFCer who has gone to and from these meetings, it may be a simple fact of life that you never considered the kind of overhead in time, equipment, and man power that is required to make something like that happen.  I am only going to be talking about the sound engineering aspect of things here, but mind you, there are officers, set up people, chairs ministry, welcoming ministry, etc. who come to make these things happen, and here, you’re only getting one piece of that huge puzzle which needs to be put together in order to make things materialize for these weekly meetings. 

So let that be a part of the perspective you have as you read this.  The fact is, it is incredible that these meetings happen and do so most of the time without any major issues.  So as we delve into what the sound engineers do, we’ll deepen your perspective.  Every prayer meeting, every Sunday service, every Friday large group, every servants meeting, every special service, every seminar, virtually any thing in our church where people gather (short of small groups), requires the presence of one or many sound engineers. 

Now we don’t just show up and then everything is setup, and we just move faders up and down.  No, we frequently have to setup things to make it work because we are nomadic, because we don’t own a building.  So, what are we talking about here… we’re talking about specialized knowledge that is a necessity for making things work at CUCC, TCBC, Brookens, Foellinger, Wesley, Judah, the Union, and the list goes on and on.  You name it, we’ve been there, and our portable systems have probably been setup there.  For the sake of time, let’s just consider… large group.  Clearly there is more as I just stated, but for the sanity of the reader, we’ll just slip even deeper into our perspective here.

Before we go any further, we’ll go into a quick round up of who has been charged at our church, to facilitate setup, tear down and operation of our infrastructure.  Paul Suh is CFC’s primary sound engineer currently.  He is executor, trainer, mentor to the group you see here.  He is charged with facilitating worship at our most critical events, as well as bringing up our other engineers to a level where they too can be charged with that kind of responsibility.  Andy Jeong and Joshua Chung are our front of house engineers.  Front of house means… basically everything you see on stage is their responsibility.  Power amplifiers, speakers, interconnects, power distribution and venue dependent infrastructure planning.  Jisoo, Sharon, DS, and Angie are charged with being rear of house engineers, basically the ones that mix, and conduct live worship for our church at various places, Sunday Service and Friday Nights as well as all special events.  I was formerly the primary sound engineer for CFC, but have since handed off the reigns and have maintained a special close tie to this group as a mentor and consultant.  Having done all their roles, I feel a very close connection with the things they go through, and the work they are doing.

Sound engineering is one of those tricky things.  The things we have done, and discussed over the years to improve not only the quality of our infrastructure, but to bring our system up to a proper level where it can be run safely without damage, is quite extensive.  In many ways, the sound engineers are the ones who never receive praise or thanks yous from people (not that they are ever looking for that), but are instead the ones who get trashed on and get dirty looks when something goes wrong or sounds weird.  This post is not a solicitation for thank yous but it is hopefully a perspective changer.  Many times, we will not hear a thing when worship goes well without a hitch, and we will be given indifferent reactions to how worship went.  But, watch out, if there’s a power failure, or the mix doesn’t sound right, or if something goes wrong, or something feedsback… we are given an ear full (and we should be), and are asked, "what happened?"

I’ll just say this once, very succinctly and very clearly.  At our church, (short of our pastors) there is not a responsibility that is as difficult, demanding, challenging, thankless, and stressful as being a sound engineer.  The position is not really seen as anything (nor should it be), but in my mind, I think to be a sound engineer, you need incredible attention to detail, thick-skin-ness, professionalism, teachability, spirituality, musical proficiency, and a heart that is passionate for worship.  Some people believe even within our band… the hardest job is to be the electric guitarist, or a singer, or a pianist.  Forget it, you’re all wrong and without a second thought in my mind, I redouble my statement, being a sound engineer is the hardest job. 

Consider the job Matt Lee does as our primary electric guitarist.  He knows every single electric guitar part for every single song that CFC has ever sung ever, and he can recall it and play it without a hitch in a dynamic worship context.  And still, I consider the job a sound engineer has to do as infinitely more difficult.  Consider my position as a pianist at our church.  I have to know every piano part of every song ever done at CFC ever, and be able to recall and play it without a hitch in a dynamic worship context.  And still, I fully consider the job of a sound engineer to be infinitely more difficult, demanding, and essential.

And here’s why… many people think a sound engineer has to just move faders up, plug in cables, and oh it all works and sounds good.  That’s just about the most primitive "fail-reasoning" you can have.  The reality is, a sound engineer has to have knowledge and full understanding of the front of house, every wire, every amplifier connection, ever setting, every speaker spec, and every piece of equipment on stage.  That is to say, what instruments people are using, the output levels, whether they are active or passive, what type of microphone, the pickup patterns of those mics, mitigating stage noise with floor wedges, etc. the list goes on.  A sound engineer must also have knowledge and full understanding of the rear of house, that is how every piece of equipment works in the back, every mixer, eq, compressor, gate, effects processor, wireless devices, and the beast of a mixer that we use, etc. the list goes on.  On top of that, a sound engineer must know the sonic properties of every single input, that is to say, what makes a voice sound good, what makes a guitar sound good, an electric guitar, bass, drums, and ON TOP of that how to make them sound good together.  We’re not even scratching the surface yet… a sound engineer must also know the songs we sing at our church, and not just the names or the melody, but they need to know the song as if they have listened to nothing else for their whole lives.  When are there volume swells, solos, accents, and tag lines… FOR EVERY SINGLE SONG we sing. 

I’m not even half way done yet… on top of all of that, a sound engineer has to know the individual parts of every instrument, for every song, that we’ve ever sung at CFC ever.  So, back to the illustration with Matt and I… you think it’s difficult knowing YOUR parts musically for every song ever sung at CFC ever?  As a sound engineer, you have to know EVERY instrument’s parts for every song ever sung at CFC ever, and on top of that, you have to know how the sonic properties of each song affects those parts and adjust ON THE FLY, to make it all mesh together.  And we are NOT even done yet!  ON TOP of all of that… a sound engineer has to juggle the live mix that everyone hears in the speakers, and simultaneously mix the individual monitors that get sent to EACH singer, every musician, on stage.  NOT ONLY THAT… a sound engineer must be able to make on the fly adjustments to EVERY VENUE we sing at whether we are at Foellinger, or Wesley, or Brookens, or CUCC or wherever, since the room affects the mix. 

We’re not even finished yet… on top of all of that, a sound engineer has to be conscious of the listening volume of the congregation and SERVE the greatest number of people maximizing their worship experience, while simultaneously attempting to mitigate the blasting and volume problems associated with people sitting close to the speakers.  On top of that, a sound engineer has to troubleshoot problems that come up, have full knowledge of how to mitigate issues, and to perform that troubleshooting while simultaneously mixing everything above that has already been mentioned.  And now on top of all of that, a sound engineer has to be prayerful, spiritual, trying to worship God themselves while they are considering everything that I’ve mentioned above all at the same time. 

So let’s just be clear here… there is no more difficult job short of being a pastor at CFC, than being a sound engineer.  Hopefully this will help you to think twice when you hear a single thing out of place in the mix, or a random mix up, or a random this or that… that maybe it is justified to accept a mistake here or there, when our sound engineers are charged with simultaneous cerebral, emotional, spiritual, and critical thinking on a vast number of things. 

These guys and girls, they work hard, they pray hard, and they fully understand that the demands on their professionalism, infrastructure acumen, and their own personal walks with God are important.  I can name story after story of how each of these guys have demonstrated incredible maturity, teachability, and profesionalism in how they tirelessly and lovingly serve the church.  All of us, sinners in our own right, struggling to grow and emulate Christ moment by moment, still working to be excellent at that which we have been charged to do.  These people are the rockstars, the ones that make it happen, and without them we would be logistically dysfunctional.  It’s easy to praise people on stage, yes they are excellent, and great at what they do.  Yet it is so easily glazed over, the fact that nothing is possible without our sound engineers who are equally the vessels God being using to facilitate worship. 

Silly… strange… idiosyncratic… unique… sinners… yes that’s clear.  But, also… intelligent, teachable, supportive, passionate, sacrificial, and mixing for an audience of one… those seem appropriate as well.  I am thankful that I get to work with these guys, pray with these guys, and have fun with these guys.  They represent the best part of being a part of the body of Christ.  Camaraderie, togetherness, single-mindedness for Christ, and brothers and sisters who push each other to be excellent and grow in the Lord.  It’s my privilege to serve along wide these guys.  Thank you God that you’ve raised up this group to do this specialized work all for your glory.

Thanks to Joel for lending a hand with the pictures.  =)

As a quick fun aside… some of the things here are vital parts of our infrastructure… as we playfully show our command over those things… Paul with his eyes closed… shows us how sound engineers need to know things front and back, and in your sleep.  Andy shows us some front of house hardware with those inline Z’s.  I’ve got a cable tester lit up with a balanced male XLR to a TRS cable.  Sharon is showing both the aspects of having a talk back mic at the mixer, and showing our command of EQ’ing microphones with various voices.  DS is showing the infamous wireless microphone used to mix Pastor Min, or any other pastor who speaks.  Jisoo is holding a power strip used to illustrate the importance of power distribution.  Angie is showing the face that happens (or the face that I make on stage) when something weird or bad happens.  Joshua is showing the face that… well Joshua is special, so yeah.  He’s showing the face that is made when everything goes well.  Suffice it to say, we are an eclectic group, charged with enormous responsibility.  And there’s enough technical knowledge in this group to run a Hillsong concert, or even the Grammy’s, no joke.

Mix together… serve together… die (to ourselves) together… the “Eclectic Elite Eight” or “E3” as I now dub this group.  =)

Restaurant Review: Meatheads – Champaign, IL

Posted by on February 16, 2012 No comments

1305 South Neil Street
Champaign, IL 61822
217.352.5555

Hours Of Operation:
11am – 9pm, Sunday – Thursday
11am – 10pm, Friday – Saturday

http://www.meatheadsburgers.com/

I’ve got to say that as a huge fan of burgers both having made my own, grilled my own, and gone out of my way to visit various burger places in my life, that I was skeptical coming into a new burger joint hitting Champaign.  Believe it or not, since I’ve come to campus, I still maintain that the best burger joint in Champaign Urbana is Wonderdogs.  And people think I’m crazy because they think, no way, what about burgers from O’Charley’s, or Alexanders, etc.  Well, no, when you look at how things are cooked, ingredients, and the care that goes into the food, it’s no surprise that a hole in the wall like Wonderdogs would be the best burger in Champaign.  Still though, even Wonderdogs, as good and as fresh as the ingredients are, the rest of the place doesn’t sit well with me.  The ambience, the experience of dining there, etc.  You won’t find a better value on a quality burger than at Wonderdogs, but if we’re looking at whole package burger joints, this is the first real burger place to take hold of Champaign.  Candis and I took one of our lunch breaks to collectively sample and get a first feel for this place, and figure out if we would be returning.

The whole idea behind Meatheads is to create a fast casual environment for gourmet burgers.  It’s as simple as that.  Meatheads has locations throughout suburban Illinois and has been successful at posting their vision and stapling themselves into the community.  This is what has set them apart as well as what has created strong loyalty among the community to keep the business alive, as the business attempts to give back to the community.  This sentiment is not at all lost for Meatheads in Champaign.  The UIUC men’s and women’s basketball schedule and their scores are posted prominently as are sports from all the local high schools in Champaign.  This is a singular attitude that sets them apart from the rest of the game.  It’s one thing to have fantastic food (which may or may not be the case for Meatheads, read on), but to make yourself a staple in the success and growth of a community by infusing yourself into local schools, sports leagues, libraries, and by endorsing literacy and education… it’s not something we see every day.  In a sense, by creating the bond and loyalty you ensure success of your business, as you become more than a reseller, but a partner in a community.  Fast casual yes… we see it popping up everywhere.  We want green, we want natural, we want high quality ingredients, we want it quick, we don’t want to spend a lot, but here’s the catch… we are willing to spend a little more to get all of the above, and that’s the careful niche that Meatheads is trying to play here, along with all your other common fast casual places.

You’ve got your endorsements here for fresh ingredients, healthy ingredients with your fresh cut Idaho potatoes, omega-rich canola oil, and the delicious intrigue of a hand-dipped milkshake, which we unfortunately did not have time to try this time around.  You’ve also got your novelties making this a family joint.  Nothing like branding your kids with tattoos for your favorite new community gourmet fast casual burger hang out.  Put a few of these on some prominent kids in the playground, and you create walking advertisements that jump from family to family.

I will say this… I like the type face they are using.  =)

Ambience (9/10)

From the very beginning you’d never enter into Meatheads and think, man, this place is so down and dreary.  No, quite the opposite, the place is a bustle of activity, you hear the chefs in the back continually communicating on orders and checking the doneness of their burgers.  The popular open air concept is not lost with this fast casual place as it sports a nice combination of dropped sound suppressive sheets, which I think is a fantastic choice.  What can be lost in an open air concept is some dampening of the noise level.  By adding these drop ceilings, some of the excess echo and the cave-like amplification effect is reduced giving diners less scream conversation, and more comfortable dining and conversation volume.  You’ll also notice the can speakers and some flying low wattage JBL’s which are no doubt being powered by what is likely some Crown CTS amps somewhere in the back.  The music was a nice mixture of 90’s, 2000s and recent music.  Nothing overpowering, more R&B, classic rock, up beat jazz, and easy listening type stuff.  All in all good choices given the overall goal of the dining experience.  The key is to give people an opportunity to be drowned out by the music to other diners, while it not being too loud to where you’re shouting your conversation to your dining partner.  This is not the case here and Meatheads balances all these things wonderfully into a comfortable family and interactive dining ambience.

You can tell from the very beginning when you walk in and look at the seating configurations they have set up that they mean this place to be for both groups and couples alike.  This is not so much a place to go if you want to dine in the restaurant by yourself, though, as a matter of fact most people wouldn’t want to dine alone in the restaurant anyway.  Suffice it to say Meatheads is geared towards groups, couples, and families.  The comfortable booth seating areas are numerous enough to provide the means for groups, while other areas of the restaurant are devoted to more traditional table seating, both for 2, or 4 people.  A single large family dinner table right next to the largest window is also available, no doubt for the big family night out for burgers at Meatheads, or the soccer team that just had their tournament victory looking to score some after game burgers.  It’s a family place, it’s a community place, and the positive vibe that goes when you get groups of people eating together, it was clearly contagious here.

Definitely one aspect that I think added to the ambience, which I touched on earlier is their signage.  Whoever does their graphic design did a great job as the signage around the place is fantastic.  Graphical, whimsical, readable and legible from a distance, clear and communicates a memorable message within the 5 second attention span of today’s busy American.  You may glaze over the fact that signage is just signage, but the fact that pictures and words have a very defining effect on the success of your restaurant was not lost at Meatheads.  It feels inviting, cheerful, and makes you feel like you’re at a place where people want to be.  And all in all when we’re talking about ambience, it was a very positive dining experience.  It affected my dining experience so much that even before I bit into my burger, I felt like I wanted to come back to this place because of the energy and togetherness that seemed to ooze out of conversations and the building alike.

Service (8/10)

Now how much can you mope about service in a fast casual place.  In fact, in a fast casual place, as Bobby Flay and Steve Ells the founder of Chipotle will attest to, service is everything.  You can have a fantastic ambience, and even fantastic food, but if people do not feel like they are being served and it is not done so in a good fashion, they won’t be returning to your restaurant.  Now, the existence of two registers at the front of the restaurant helped to expedite the long line of people wanting to eat.  The line at times was out the door even with a single snake kink in the line.  But even if you arrive and you stand outside as the line gets longer, in less than 3 or 4 minutes you’re inside ordering your meal.  Having competent help in the ordering process is another important factor, and Meatheads staff in this case was exemplary.  Being first timers they placed no weight on it taking longer for us to order as we perused the menu, and offered suggestions and were helpful in putting together how things worked at Meatheads.

Like a fair number of fast casual places, the structure of this place was order, grab your drink, sit down, and within minutes someone will be bringing you food.  So we were given #16 here, and placed it prominently in our napkin holder as we waited for a server to arrive with our food.  Nothing bad about something anecdotal about your restaurant to put on table numbers.  The most important aspect of this structure is wait time.  Surprisingly, the wait times associated with this structure were perfect, as the time it took us to grab our drinks and sit down had us waiting only 3 or 4 minutes for our food.  The servers were prompt, polite, and wished us a happy meal which helped to boost the already positive eating environment.

The only reason Meatheads is not getting a 9 on service is largely due the first major flaw we found in the restaurant which was the line for drinks.  Mind you, this line is only 5 people long, it sometimes would snake on both machines for about 8 or 9 people, waiting in the common walking area for drinks.  This created congestion for people getting drinks, people getting to their tables after ordering, people trying to go to the bathroom, and worst off, the servers who were trying to bring food out to their hungry diners.  As a matter of maximizing available seating, this must have a been a design compromise, but it does seem distracting for people to be standing with their butts in my face as I’m trying to enjoy my drink with my wife, and prepare for the burger to come.  On multiple occasions I saw a bottle neck of servers being intercepted, stopped, and blocked by a dual snake for the pop machine.  Where this isn’t a deal breaker, it is distracting, and for the diners that were sitting in the common area as we were, it was uncomfortable for our conversation and a detriment to our eating environment to have people’s butts in our faces as we sat and waited patiently for our food.

The score would have been even as low as a 7 because of this fact, but Meatheads gained a full point back when the restaurant manager came by and went straight to our table, looked at us at eye level and asked how our meal was going and wished us a happy meal.  Now, this may be because they saw us conspicuously taking a bunch of iPhone pictures throughout the time we were there and someone tipped the manager off that we might be local critics of some kind.  But all the same, whether it was a friendly visit from a restaurant manager to his clientele, or a presumptuous visit from the manager to glad hand the local critics, it was well received as the intentions in either case are reflective of a positive attitude and perspective.

Presentation (5/10)

Strange for me to look at the new Coke machines and consider that a part of the presentation, but as the dispenser for drinks, I thought it fit nicely in this section.  Many down place the quality of the cups you use to drink out of, or the cleanliness of the drink and condiment dispensing area.  But in all honesty, when you see these new Coke machines which I still argue are fairly new to the market in rural Illinois, you can’t help but feel like you’re at a restaurant that is hip, up to date, and on the cutting edge of restaurant hardware.  These machines look nice, make you feel good, and are a novelty.  They also create a bottle neck as indecisive children or “like-me heart motives” are stuck perusing what is available on top of the derivatives available for each classic drink we are used to.  Raspberry sprite?  Tried it, horrible.  I will say all in all these machines are a positive impact to the presentation of the drink portion of the meal.  It’s too bad that functionally, these machines lack the carbon dioxide bite you’d like when you eat a burger, and also at times make you feel like you’re drinking straight up syrup.

As for our food, I ordered a half pound meat head burger with everything (except pickles) and original fries.  Candis ordered a kid’s meal seen here below with Cajun fries.  The only difference between the two sets of fries seems to be a dry seasoning put on prior to serving between the original and Cajun fries.  When you look at your meal, it doesn’t exactly look gourmet, and the word cheap comes to mind.  I am not a big fan of having the kitchen ticket a part of my burger.  Where I can see it being useful for the kitchen and servers to ensure what is ordered is made, I really should not have to have that appear in front of me with my burger sitting on it absorbing the red ink into the bun.

As expected, this is a no-nonsense straight up burger and friends.  Nothing fancy, nothing complicated.  Perhaps that is good as Meatheads probably will attempt to let the taste mark the enjoyment alone, but there is something to be said about the dining experience being let down here by lack luster presentation, and at times a messy burger with the tops falling off when it hits your table.  Meatheads should learn a thing or two from their competitors in this market.  Five guys may only use brown paper bags, but use shiny aluminum to lock in their burgers, as well as a white paper cover over the burger to make it both look more delicious and fancy, while providing the function of keeping the burger together while eating.  It’s no secret that gourmet burger tend not to stick together when you eat them, and to provide a gourmet burger without a white paper covering is almost criminal in this area of food.  You’ll never find five guys forgetting the essential and functional white paper wrapping, making it less messy, easier to eat, and more “gourmet-looking,” and such is the case for other staple burger places like Red Robin.

Above all, we considered this poor design, and it showed.  Throughout the meal, burger drippings mixed with mustard, ketchup, and mayo were dripping down my hand and arm, all unavoidable if you’re trying to eat a fresh gourmet burger.  On top of that the burger was sliding all over the place, and would not stay together after a while, making this potentially easier to eat with a knife and fork rather than with your hands.  This fact alone is a travesty, that a burger should be falling apart after the first bite, with your hands covered in delicious but greasy fluids.  Candis and I had what looked like an allotment of 30 napkins at our table in our napkin holder.  We used about 20 throughout our meal to ensure the cleanliness of our hands and clothes was maintained from the beginning to the end of the meal.  Poor conception on the part of Meatheads here, though easily mitigated.  We’ll see if they wise up.

Taste (7/10)

Taste as always constitutes half of the overall score.  We get our bearings here quickly.  Candis and I were both hungry and were in need of sustenance, so Meatheads had us right where they wanted us to get us to enjoy our meal.  I was happily surprised that the burger was delicious.  The buns were slightly warmed, and were not soggy despite the drip fest of fluids.  The lettuce was a bright green, crisp and refreshing addition to a burger that badly needed that textural and fresh component.  The tomato helped as it always does to a burger, the taste as it gave a slight sweet edge making the savory-ness of the burger come out even more in the taste.  What actually really made my particular burger was the grilled onions.

The caramelized grilled onions added quite a luxurious feel to the burger as it would to any burger.  In defense of all the fluids that were seeping all over the place, it is true that when burgers are properly cooked, from a freshly made burger patty, they are juicy and moist.  Certainly there was an aspect of balance that had to be reached in our minds as we had to separate the annoyance of how messy the meal was, to the delightful taste the burger carried with each bite.

If we take a quick note about the fries… I was sadly not impressed.  They did feel fresh and were definitely all potato, there’s only so much you can do with canola oil, and on top of that, it felt like the frying temperature was insufficient to really crisp up the fries since their function is to add a textural balance to the meal as well as be a starch.  The original fries I got were straight out of the fryer with no seasoning, or very light salt seasoning.  The Cajun fries that Candis got were sort of a poor man’s Red Robin seasoning salt, sort of badly conceived and way too much of what tasted like paprika or cayenne pepper.  A better mixture or time spent in developing that taste is probably a good idea as it just feels so disconnected and unharmonious in the flavor profile.  All in all, not terrible, but again, when compared against the likes of Red Robin’s fantastic steak fries, Meatheads was a little… underwhelming in the fries department.

Value (7/10)

Value is extremely important.  When we look at eating out, especially in today’s weakened economy and with less money to go around to eating out, we’re more and more conscious about restaurants justifying their prices.  For instance, if I spend 10 dollars on a burger, it had better be a good burger, and it had better be memorable.  Whereas, if we get a free living social big mac from McDonalds, we usually expect only to fill our stomachs and to feel satisfied, more than we expect there to be a fantastic flavor and killer experience as we eat it.

What you see below.  A half pound Meatheads burger, with normal fries, and provolone cheese… this meal will set you back almost $10.  Unfortunately, I cannot see that being a justifiable price for the meal.  Candis’s meal which was the kid size, was a 1/3 pound burger with all the same stuff, just a little less in amount, and she paid $4 less than I did, though her meal was just about the same.  Now about that mark, I’m feeling a lot more of the value.  In truth, the half pound burger is quite a lot of food, way too much for a normal healthy portion of food.  So if you go, get a kids meal, which is a burger the way you like it, plus fries for under $6.  That’s a great value.  I can’t see anything beyond that as worth it at this point.

If you look at the menu, if you were to create a monster burger, the likes of Red Robin… you’d have to spend $5.50, +$1 for cheese, +$1 for a fried egg, +$1 for bacon, +$2 for fries, $1.50 for a drink.  That puts you at… $12, not to mention you don’t get bottomless fries.  When you make the comparisons, Meatheads is pretty expensive.  Are you paying a premium for local and fresh ingredients, yes, and you feel it in your wallet.  Your best bet again, is stay away from the additions.  Hit the kids meal if you go often, and if you don’t go often, then maybe it’s justifiable to spend a little more on an actual Meathead.  It’s not a terrible pricing scheme, but it’s also not an unfair pricing scheme.  Meatheads is banking not so much on you believing that their food is better than everyone else’s or even that it’s valued better, but they are banking on relationship, community, and loyalty, which has proven time and time again to be the more powerful compelling force for repeat customership.  That is why Meatheads is getting a value of 7 here and not 6, because they are contributing to the community positively as a company, while providing excellent food at a slightly high but reasonable overhead.

Overall, Candis wanted it to be clear that this place is not the kind of place you bring a girl on a first date.  That isn’t to say that you should go to Biaggi’s on your first date either, but I agree with her in that this place lacks the intimacy and privacy you’d need to have a conversation at a normal level without being distracted.

Though I was happy at the meal and felt the taste was good, I was still thinking the whole time… this burger is good, but it’s not as good as a Five Guys burger, and it’s certainly not as good as a Royal Red Robin burger. With that said, I was thinking the whole time… though it’s not as good as Five Guys, or as good as Red Robin… it is certainly the best burger I’ve ever tasted in Champaign. And being the first REAL gourmet fast casual burger place on campus, I’d say they’ve captured the niche, and impressed me enough to say that until a Five Guys or Red Robin opens up in Champaign, I will probably go back to Meatheads to grab a burger now and again.  Their vision of community involvement, on top of the “Steve Ells”-type tenants of fast casual dining, combining natural ingredients, service, and delicious food is what really makes this place for me.  I do mind spending 10 dollars at McDonalds as being a horrendous waste of money, but I don’t mind spending 10 dollars at Meatheads when I know the food is good, and they are partnering with the community to make a better Champaign.  Candis and I will be going back, perhaps not as often as we’d like, but we have a positive view of this place, and it’s likely to be shared by others who see the captured vision of community and high quality gourmet burgers.

Overall Impressions and Score

Ambience (10%): 9 / 10
Service (10%): 8 / 10
Presentation (10%): 5 / 10
Taste (50%): 7 / 10
Value: (20%): 7 / 10

Overall Rating: 7.1 / 10.

James 1:7 – 8

Posted by on February 15, 2012 No comments

“For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”

It’s interesting when you look at God, and then allow yourself to consider that in everything that He does, that He is somehow not good and just in doing it.  This is a particular thing that we do often without thinking, why else would we complain about things that happen in our lives?  It’s one thing to question and to wonder and to desire an explanation to things that go on in your life or in the lives of people around you, or even around the world.  God why did you bring this situation into my life?  God why did so many die in that natural disaster?  The list of questions goes on.  I think those sorts of questions when asked in earnest humbleness to the Lord are perfectly fine.  He is our advocate, He is our peace and solace, so it is in Him that we must look to find proper perspective about the things that happen in our lives.  Instead however, we take it a step further… or rather take the step in a direction that is wrong, that is to say we complain and question defiantly God’s wisdom and goodness when difficult circumstances take hold of our lives, or even in lives of others around us.  If we are captured by the toxic thought processes underlying our complaining and defiant hearts, then all of a sudden the vast array of things that don’t go our way in life will be open season for brewing dissension in our hearts towards God.

It’s hard to say that God is good in all things sometimes.  That might sound terrible to say, but the truth is, it’s much easier to look at a difficult circumstance and consider that God just got it wrong, or that He’s just mean or without compassion.  Why didn’t I get that job?  Why didn’t the relationship with that person work out?  Why didn’t I do this or that, or say this or that?  Why did that person get what I wanted so much more than that person?  It’s much easier to look at our lives in the context of these types of questions.  But what is good in the eyes of the Lord is submitting to the fact that God is good, and sometimes things we see are out of context to our understanding of what God is unfolding in our lives.  A sick family member with a terminal illness, or thinking about genocidal tyrants in history and going on even in the present… we think about these things and conclude one of two things.  One, this is the work of satan, or two, God, this is unfair.  Both of these conclusions are completely backward mind you, even James calls it out here in these verses.  On the whole, God is above satan, sovereign over everything in a scope that we cannot hope to properly understand seeing as we are not omniscient nor God by any means.  Also, this whole idea of unfairness… I think it’s becoming a toxic disease that is running rampant in today’s western culture.  That’s not fair?  I’ve said this before, but in the scope of even the idea that some will be saved and some will not be?  We cry out, that’s not fair, when in fact what is not fair is that a perfect God gave His only Son to die for an unworthy people, and yet here we are, recipients of that sacrifice, and we have the audacity to question fairness in light of God’s perfect sacrifice in our lives?  Yes, this is what we do.

James is saying here that our initial supposition as we encounter situations in life is not to expect things from God.  Now just stop right there without context, and you have an incomplete picture of God and His interaction with people.  There’s a fine line in our minds and hearts between what is proper to expect of God and what is not.  You’ve got a terminally ill family member for example, and your consideration is, God WILL heal him/her.  This can be mistakenly interpreted as hope in the Lord, but ultimately becomes self defeating as you attempt to control by sheer will power, that which you have no control over.  Instead… God CAN heal him/her, and even if He doesn’t, He is still good.  The latter presents the gospel, leaving things that God should handle in God’s hands, and submitting humbly to His sovereignty and goodness as the circumstances of our lives unfolds.  What I don’t want to say here is that this is some formula to getting through tough life circumstances.  No one said relinquishing this kind of control would be easy or painless, quite the opposite as scripture tells us in many places, life gets hard, just take Hebrews 12 as an example. 

But let’s take the flip side as an argument here… if we do not fight and strive for this kind of proper expectation of God in our lives, then the result is being double minded and unstable.  I for one… understand fully that life is unstable already.  In fact, it is getting more unstable every day as the world grows farther and farther away from God.  But imagine the turmoil and instability that results from going through difficult life circumstances, then on top of that, being driven to more turmoil and instability from having no solace or peace that comes with being free and without burden in God’s good character.  Why exacerbate an already difficult situation in your life, with the hopelessness that your heart generates by default, when you have a perfect counselor and mighty God who you can trust is good in all things?  It is the confession of many believers that we are prone even as believers, to complain and defiantly question the goodness of our God on a daily basis.  It is the confession of many believers that we have selfish expectations of God in our lives.  If this is the case, where is our hope?  We are then not salty or any different, nor can we offer any hope to others if we ourselves are hopeless.  A mighty battle is won in your heart in the moments where you acknowledge God’s sovereignty, and another battle is won when you acknowledge His goodness despite the circumstance.  The accumulation of these victories inherently speaks to a life that salty, and drives people to hope and wait on the Lord in His goodness.  Can you think about that circumstance in your life where you are prone to defiantly question and complain, or that circumstance where you have unbiblical expectation of God and turn your perspective around?  What a battle it is moment by moment to do this!  I must be redoubled in my faith in Christ to do this.

Valentine’s Day =)

Posted by on February 14, 2012 No comments

This is all about why I don’t need a specific day set aside to say that I love my wife, and how every day she makes it Valentine’s Day for me.  There isn’t a single consideration in my day that could cause me to look into the eyes of Candis and think anything short of, Lord, thank you that I have this shining vision of grace in my life every day.  Yes, I think similarly to a lot of people, maybe Valentine’s Day is a day where America boosts the economy and the flower industry, or the chocolate companies, and card companies get a little lift.  And I am the first to incredulously say, “why do I need a special day set aside to tell my wife why she’s the one I love the most, my all, and my everything (behind God of course).”  The thing is, even having been married for a short time, I am the first to admit that the routine and mundane are things that sort of swoop in on you.  Familiarity, and the comfort of having your spouse around all the time, paired with the fact that your spouse is awesome… you can get comfortable, and perhaps at times forget to tell her as often, how wonderful she is.  So, with Valentine’s Day, I consider this a welcome day for my patriotic heart as we feed our hurting economy with billions of dollars of goods, while being reminded as a husband to take a step back and recount in thankfulness before God, why I am thankful to have the woman who makes me a better man, by my side. 

This will be our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple.  But it also marks our anniversary of when we started officially dating years ago.  Everyone remembers pictures care of Dowoo Lee of the proposal at Ra in Glenview.  Well at that very restaurant, we started our journey together, and then at that very restaurant, we got engaged, and sadly at that restaurant, we will not be spending our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple.  We will be in the cold cornfields of Champaign-Urbana.  Yay Chambana!  I look back at the last few weeks and I have a lot to be thankful for.  My family, Candis’s family, our friends, our mentors, pastors who have kept loving watch over us for many years… I mean the list goes on.  What I think I appreciate the most about this particular Valentine’s Day is that what I have to be thankful for is a little easier to see this year, more tangibly realized.  See, there are years where you think… man, it’s tough to think of why I’m thankful today, even though you know you are thankful.  But this year, it’s easy to see that when I woke up this morning next to my wife, sleeping like an angel, I can see her later today as the walking embodiment of thankfulness that I have in my life.  And seeing her reminds me of my family, and Candis’s family, and all the friends that have celebrated with us and congratulated us in the last few weeks.  It is our prayer always that though the novelty of being newlyweds will wear off, that our hearts of thankfulness will grow in breadth and depth every day, not only for each other but for being exposed to more and more ways God is being faithful.

What’s great about photos is that you’re taken back into that moment, and even with this picture, we’re reminded of exactly what I said before (Photo Credit: Tim Koo & Resolved Photography).  Thankful for my wife, my family, Candis’s family, my friends, Candis’s friends, our mentors and pastors… thankful for being reminded every day that all of this goodness, and awesomeness that we are thankful for, is under the immeasurable grace being given to us by God above all. 

Even though I smile like a doofus… she’s still by my side smiling beautifully for both of us.  At any rate, I could go on and on, but in the interest of time… I will drop a quick poem that I wrote for today.  =)

It’s the day that many men come to ponder
”Who will be my wife” they wonder
But not me today, I woke up beside my wife
So things seem to be good today in my life

She is my embodiment of God’s daily grace
She pushes me to faithfully finish the race
She’s more beautiful than words could ever say
So much that I have to keep other guys at bay

It’s not any secret that she has many gifts
Her voice causes your heart to lift
Her smile deepens all of her clever riffs
Quite the opposite of a millstone over a cliff

It’s fitting that my ring resizing was completed today
It’s arriving same day air via UPS, hooray!
This Valentine’s Day seems to be going well
As I’ll be with God’s chosen one for me, gee that’s swell!

I am so thankful for Candis, my best friend
My wife and my cheerleader to the end
This great adventure has only just begun
But so far, it has been an epic home run

Today… I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the planet.  And the like is true of any other day that is to come.  I’ve got a God who saved me from death, and a wife who shows me every day a picture of what that love looks like from God.  I am excited for what God has in store for us as what has only been a few weeks old, turns into months and years to come.  It should be a fantastic adventure where we are encountered with experience after experience that show us that God is faithful.

James 1:6

Posted by on February 7, 2012 No comments

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

It’s been quite a time these last few months as I’ve prepared as best as I could for marriage, and for the challenges and journey that lies ahead.  I’ve always been the first person to rely on myself, to believe that I have the strength, resolve, and know how to do things apart from God, and apart from the loving body of Christ that He has provided, but it is clear as a day that the prideful heart is the strongest and easiest, and most prevalent road block to growth that exists in the Christian heart.  It has been a great humbling experience as life has unfolded, and now that I’m married and the luckiest man to walk the planet with Candis at my side, still the fight to be faithful, and to die to myself in all areas of my life continues, except now I have someone who pushes me even harder, someone who knows me and has place to call me out daily to push me.  So it’s interesting… circumstances change, but the fight stays the same.  There have been many times where the very thought of emulating Christ to my wife seems impossible and a daunting task looming over my head.  And it’s in those times that James 1 really comes to both give me peace, and give me proper Godly perspective on the matter.

It is interesting the way we abuse a verse like thing.  It is such a broad thing to ask.  The verb, to ask… huge, and without qualification, or even quantification it seems like this could mean anything.  Out of context it could be interpreted as a “get whatever I want if I ask for it.”  James has started this chapter talking about trials and hardships, and as he continues that line of thought, we look at this verse in light of those that preceded it.  The asking here is no doubt a reflection of the steadfastness and testing of our faith that comes with trails brought into our life.  James has wasted no time hitting the notes here… already within 6 verses he has declared… life is hard and crappy at times when you’re a Christian, but look at things with God’s eyes, because you know in everything you lack in faithfulness, God will make up the rest.  My initial consideration of this particular verse is the question, what do I ask for?  But the answer is obvious as James has been speaking again and again about steadfastness and lacking wisdom.  Ask for a heart that is steadfast and faithful… and ask for wisdom as you go through the ins and outs of life.

See, this is the most interesting part of this verse.  It is so natural for us to go into a mode of asking… asking for release from hardship, or specific outcomes, or what not.  And where it’s never bad to go to God in the complete honesty of your heart and lay out what’s on your heart to Him, James very clearly says hey, life is going to be hard, get that through your head… ask God to give you the strength and a heart of faithfulness as you go through those things, and ask that God would increase your wisdom to facilitate your journey.  It’s clear that what comes natural to us is not the best way, not even the most effective means of us taking advantage of what God has to offer us in those times when we are struggling or in the midst of hardship.  Maybe even more prevalent is the issue of doubt… which James seems to draw attention to for the majority of this verse.

With my whole personal realization about perspective in my previous post, there is definitely place for us to doubt at times because what we see and where we need to go doesn’t jive well with what is actually happening in our lives.  Maybe we are desperately looking for a job and nothing surfaces, or are pursuing that girl who we feel so convicted about and nothing is materializing… whatever it is when we look at it with our finiteness and total non-God-ness… yes there’s every reason to doubt.  But doubt is a byproduct of fear, and fear is generated most fundamentally by the ability to fulfill personal needs whether they are legitimate or not.  But again, James says here… ask in faith with NO doubting, that is to say, if doubt is a byproduct of fear, and fear is generated by our personal considerations of what we want or don’t want in our lives, then we need to change what we want or don’t want in our lives, which will then address the fear, and kill the doubt. 

So what is it that we want?  What is it that we want to desperately avoid even?  Already this discussion has become too complicated from the simplicity that is what God has called us to do.  Very simply, faith produces steadfastness as James puts it in verse 3.  If we were to make lists of everything we want, and everything we don’t want… it’s just an overcomplication of the issue.  God has called us to steadfastly trust in Him, and that trust produces peace in our hearts, not fear as it currently is in our hearts.  How can you not doubt?  Well it’s hard not to at times, but taking in situation after situation with the perspective that God is above it, in fact, causing it and deliberately bringing those things into your life changes things because God’s character is love, we then know that what He’s doing in our lives is good and therefore not a cause for concern or fear which leads to doubt.

This in it of itself is perhaps an over simplification of the situation for us as humans, as we are inherently looking at what makes logical sense in our lives.  What seems hard, and impossible to us in the moment, being small and overcome-able by God… it’s hard to mesh the two perspectives together in a way that jives.  But even getting into the habit of changing your thought process to think first of God’s sovereignty above the pending issues that surround your life… it makes a load of difference.  Oh man, my job situation is not good right now… but I choose to think first of God’s promise to always provide for me.  Oh man, my family situation is not good right now… but I choose to think first about how God is love and lovingly working out his plan through that circumstance.  And every hypothetical suddenly becomes a biblical, qualifiable, and manageable issue since we’re looking at things in a world that is subject to God, and not subject to… fate or whatever else you might be putting your trust in without a 100% guarantee.

It’s easy these days as I’ve just gotten married, and married life is great, and I’m excited about having my partnership with Candis growing every day.  Things seem to be good and positive and headed in a great direction.  I am hard pressed then to again, in good times alike to bad times, look to Christ first and say… Oh man, my life is pretty great right now, but I choose to think first of God’s provision and know that all good and perfect things in life are gifts of grace from Him… praise be to our God.  And how beautiful is that… still what James says here applies in the good and bad, and in any situation.  The all encompassing solution of putting your hope in Christ… He never fails, and He’s not about to start.

Outside Perspective In Perspective

Posted by on February 4, 2012 No comments

I’ve been realizing in the last few months the whole concept of perspective in general.  There’s this sense that comes very naturally to me and maybe to most people, and that sense is… resist other people’s opinions.  Now this may be very true for you or not that true for you in the general sense.  Meaning, you may have your opinions about things, and you’re totally fine with other people having opinions about those things.  For example… Jimmy Johns is a crappy place, and is way too salty… and someone else may think it’s the best place ever, and you’d be okay with that sort of disagreement.  But there’s definitely something different when someone thinks differently about things that are person.  Now the example… you know, the way you’ve been handling that situation in your life, I feel strongly that you’re not handling it in the best way and need to reconsider things.  Okay… well all of a sudden we’ve got a problem, all of a sudden when the perspective of someone else collides with something that hits a little closer to the heart, we go into defensive mode. 

And this is something that I’ve been realizing being on both sides of the story.  At times, preparing for marriage, and preparing for this journey I’ve started with Candis, people spoke into my life telling me about ways that I need to revisit areas of my life that I thought were okay, but were actually not.  I was resistant, and didn’t want to hear it at times.  In the same way, I’ve been the one letting friends of mine know how I feel about how they are handling certain issues in their life, and it’s met with resistance, almost to say that it’s a personal attack.  All of this sort of prompted a very prevalent attitude as correction and outside perspective came into my life from multiple sources and as I gave my perspective on friends of mine.  The attitude is… I don’t want to hear it, you can comment on things, but don’t comment on THOSE things.  So here I am, in the consideration of where all of this resistance is coming from, both for my own benefit of being teachable and someone who can take what is told to me and grow from it, but also in my desire to understand how best to relate to people and understand where this resistance comes from to be a better brother in Christ to people around me.

Outside perspective… in perspective.  This may be old news for a lot of people, but perspective is everything.  I find that it causes things that were fuzzy and out of focus in my life to come into complete clarity, and I find that it has unlocked means for me to grow and understand the sin in my life and my need for Christ.  As iron sharpens iron… this is not something that we want to live out.  We want to live out… as iron respects all other iron and avoids painful contact.  In fact, the reality these days is most people want to remain as they are and do nothing that requires pain or difficult times to grow.  Imagine for a moment that this attitude continued to prevail among people especially in the church, then all of a sudden you’ve got a group of sinful people, not being sharpened and pruned as God calls us to do.  But wait, this isn’t an exercise in imagination, this is absolutely true of churches today in America.  The attitude is… hey, I am this way, please accept me, and I will see how you are, and will accept you.  And where this has an undertone of biblical love and acceptance of all people, there needs to be a real and realized attack not on the person themselves, but the sin and the consequences of sin that are being lived out in people’s lives. 

That is to say today… we make the person and their sin synonymous  with each other, instead of biblically, loving the person and hating the sin.  But here’s the perspective that is so rarely considered as we look at ourselves.  We are so used to making sin and the person synonymous, that we do that for ourselves as well when we consider what’s going on in our lives.  So when you look at yourself… do you separate the person, and the sin?  This has lasting ramifications as we consider our ability to accept grace from others and God, as well as understanding the depths of our sin before God and its effect on people around us.  So then in through the door, comes those brothers and sisters in our lives who come and say something to us that shakes our foundation, that puts into question the way we are living our lives or the way that we are considering this or that circumstance in our lives.  Do we take it with the heart that believes the synonymous relationship person and sin is real?  Or do we take it with the heart that believes that people are calling us out for the sin that exists in our lives and is not a personal attack. 

This is one of those attitudes that is so defaulted, so normal, so routine, so ingrained in our thought processes that considering anything outside this perspective requires quite a bit of dying to one’s self, humility, and time in meditation and thought.  I have to ask myself… when someone comes up to me and calls me out about this or that in the way that I live my life, do I view that as a loving gesture of a fellow believer trying to sharpen me and attack the sin in my life… or do I view it as a personal attack on who I am, as I identify myself with everything that I am.  This is the CRAZY thing… if we are more the latter, this means that we have associated ourselves with sin and made it an acceptable and expected part of our lives.  Now, until we go to heaven, this will be true yes… but isn’t there something inherently wrong and unbiblical about how we twist biblical truth into self justification of letting things remain in our lives that should not be there?  Since when was Jesus’s stance on sin in our lives, one that is lackadaisical, or an understanding that it will just be there, so we have to be okay with it and live with it as it’s a “fact of life.”

When did I become someone who looks at the sin in my life as something that is just me, pairing the sin with who I am.  No, I forced to think now of the truth.  That I am a child of God saved by the grace of God, and if that fact is true, then how can I pair my identity with the sin that exists in my life?  Furthermore, how can I justify getting angry or bitter when people call me out on the sin that exists in my life, because hey… I’m supposed to hate and dislike the sin in my life too right?  I’m supposed to be the one that hates the sin in my life the most!  Why is it then that so many times, when we hear someone talking to us about things we’re doing, directions we’re taking, and ways we’ve living our lives, that we don’t view it as a sin attacking loving gesture from another believer, and instead defend the sin and wrong thinking in our lives that we claim to hate.  It seems awfully hypocritical… and to be fair, it is so carefully ingrained in our default thought processes that we would never think twice about meditating on these sorts of things.

I’d like nothing better for fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, to come and speak to me about things they notice, things they see that could sharpen me, and for me to take it as a loving gesture of a believer attacking the sin in my life, while loving me.  I’d love nothing better than for me to go to a fellow believer and speak into their lives with things that have been on my heart about them, and for them to take it as a loving gesture of a brother in Christ trying to sharpen them attacking the sin in their life, while loving them. 

I fear that until we fully, mentally, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually disassociate ourselves with the sin that resides in our lives, that this sort of things will not be possible.  Because in the short term, it has nothing really with pointing fingers at others for their lack of perspective, and their lack of scope as you speak into their lives.  No, it starts within each of us as we consider the ways we do this, to fight to disassociate our identity with the sin we let reside in our lives.  Because if we hate the sin and bad attitudes of our own lives as much as we’re supposed to, then hearing how someone else hates the sin in our lives too won’t be too difficult to take, it will in fact be a validating, strengthening experience, that there’s a collective hatred of sin, and bad attitudes in our lives. 

Messages after messages of being able to look at other people… hate the sin and love the person.  We must first do this between ourselves and God first, before we can dish out that sort of love to others.  Can you hate the sin in someone else and love the person while hating that sin as Christ would, if you yourself have not developed a mindset around hating the sin in your own life, while understanding God’s grace and love for you as a person?  Is it possible?  Some people may think so… yes I can totally do that, but how is that possible?  The epitome of hypocritical living…?  I feel like this is like everything else that is good and perfect from God.  How can you love if you’ve not experienced love in your own life.  To be a little less abstract, think about… playing piano.  If no one had shown you what a piano is, how to play it, and how to do this and that on the piano, how would you know how to play it proficiently.  You’ll find even with the musical geniuses around the world, they all started with someone showing them the ropes, demonstrating to them what could be.  It’s like going to a CSO concert with Yo-Yo-Ma.  Because when Yo-Yo-Ma plays, you know that level of competence, and excellence as a cellist is possible.  The same I argue is the ability to separate the sin in your own life from the person. 

Whether it has been through our parents, or through our church friends, or pastors or experiences in life, we’ve all experienced this at some point.  We’ve done something wrong, sinned, made a poor choice, and been shown grace, and the mistake has not been counted against us as something that is stapled to us forever.  The consideration here takes it a step further as we look at our own life with the perspective of God looking at us.  Yes, the reality is that there is in in our lives, but there is Christ in us as well which covers all of that.  So if this is true, and as God hates the sin but loves us, we too must take that perspective when we both look at ourselves and others.  All of this to drive home the point that our internal introspection about personal sin and understanding grace should be in light of God’s view of us.  So, practically then, I have to ask myself… if someone tells me something about myself that I don’t like to hear, if I am listening to it in the scope of God’s view of me, then is it such a bad thing that this person has pointed this out?  In fact, I am much worse than this person is saying!  And again, the beautiful balancing effect of the gospel… though I am much worse than anything anyone could ever say about me, God’s grace has covered me, redeeming me, and making me worthy.  Then what naturally follows… our perspective on others and how we relate to others as they try to grow and be sharpened.

So, the question is… Dan, are you taking outside perspective in perspective?  That is to say, are you taking outside perspective and any perspective for that matter, in light of God’s perspective of us?  What is so beautiful about the gospel is that it works both ways.  When we receive the words we do not want to hear about things that hit close to home, suddenly it is not so bad, and turns into a sharpening tool for us to grow and be more like Christ, and consequently, when we are the ones lovingly giving those sharpening words, we are able to deliver it with the sensitivity and wisdom that we too would desire if we were receiving it.  Again, receive to give… and give with no expectation of anything.  It has been incredibly freeing for me when I counsel others, and receive counsel from wiser people around me.  Even as Candis and I start this journey, I consider this realization prime and timely as God’s grace being realized in my life.  She is the most important human outside perspective that I have, reminding me to submit ultimately to the prime outside perspective, and that is God’s view of me.  As this life long discipleship relationship begins, it is in fact all the outside perspective that matters when it comes to the real growth and sharpening that is going to happen in my life… and it is my prayer that I will stop at nothing to remain receptive under God’s perspective of me, God’s view of me, to receive, so that I can give, and not only give, but give as specifically, and purposefully as God gives to me. 

It’s a pretty sweet deal.

Pre-Marriage Perspectives

Posted by on January 23, 2012 No comments

In the months that have been spent anticipating what will happen five days from today, I feel like there are aspects and realizations of life that I wanted to get down on paper. It’s clear that throughout my life, culture and media as well as the Word of God have shaped my life in ways that I could not see readily until this whole marriage thing came into being. It’s clear that from the day I proposed, God had started me on a journey of understanding more about myself than I wanted to know. It’s becoming more evident that as life goes on, and phases of life come in and out of being relevant… that God is moving aggressively in the hearts of all people, to show more of Himself, and to make clear the need we have for Him in our lives. A strong self sufficient and confident Dan of my high school days and perhaps my undergrad days has turned into a very spiritually sobered out and humbled Dan of today.  Admittedly a lot of pride and self justification still resides inside of my heart and spirit.  I am still the first to rely on my own strength and abilities before understanding my need of a Savior, and a need to rely on the Lord for each moment of every day.  I am still struggling daily with making my life about me, and trying to be the god of my own life.  And yet, through it all, is this relentless loving push I feel from God, giving me as much exposure to these facts about myself to prepare me for the journey that is coming.

It’s been a two pronged attack on my "default-ness."  One, God working to reveal and expose deeper aspects of my heart that I didn’t know were there.  Two, God working to reveal more of Himself to me in light of seeing those aspects of myself uncovered.  It isn’t enough to say that God is showing me more about myself, or enough to say that God is showing me enough of Himself.  It is in fact, one glorious plan being revealed, and it isn’t a secret.  It’s written all over the Word, and it’s God working out His plan of redemptive history.  Not so much in the high level grand scale of things, but in the aspects of even my own small life on this earth.  As God shows me more of my deficiencies, my sin, my inclination to think of self above everything and everyone else… He reveals to me that His grace is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in my weakness and imperfection.  I remember the days of Romans 5 sermons from Pastor Min, and the great impact of what God is doing in our lives is becoming more clearly evident.  My sin and depravity is being made more aware to me, while simultaneously God’s grace and the truth of our amazing justification in Christ is seen growing bigger and bigger.

I cannot help but consider the journey that has brought Candis and I to what awaits five days from now.  Stories that are both good and bad.  Things done that were heathy and not healthy.  And aspects of our relationship that emulated Christ and the church, and others that showed the destructive nature of sin left untreated or unchallenged.  But it is in the stories that I think God reveals Himself when I look back on them.  I am frequently brought to tears as I pray and consider from where we were, to where we are now, and I come to terms with one inescapable fact… there is no way any of this would have been possible without God.  The people He lovingly brought into our lives to call us out and sharpen us, the opportunities He gave us to serve and lead people into worship, the struggles He brought into our lives to build our character and integrity before an audience of one… when you lay it all down on a time line, marking out how God used all the good and bad… it is a fact that cannot be denied… God is real, working, present, loving, and relevant. 

It’s been interesting as my perspectives have changed about dating, being engaged, and being soon to be married.  I find a lot of brothers who are yet unmarried, or dating, have been coming to me asking for advice and asking for some guidance on how to do things, the reasons behind those things, and what to do in this situation or that situation.  It’s been an incredibly blessing experience sharing my experiences with my brothers, strengthening them and giving them a framework to consider their current situations.  But to sum it up… all I can say is… don’t do what I did, but at the same time, even if you do… everything will be okay.  It’s amazing that in the realm of dating relationships and marriage within an Asian church context in the United States today, the stress is on procedure, and doing "what is right."  I see no such manual in the bible for a procedure, or an explicit list of steps to take… instead I see the entirety of God’s character and integrity being poured out for us to see.  The decisions you make in your courtship or marriage are in essence similar to any other decision you make in your life.  Under the guidance and humility that comes as you submit to the Lord, you look at all of your circumstances, situations, get advice and perspective, and make the best and wisest decision you can make at the time you’re making it… and God will work with it.  And therein lies more of the deprogramming that’s gotta happen… there is no girl out there that is perfectly golden, and a walking Proverb 31.  There is no guy out there perfectly golden who will never lose patience, or always say the right thing at the right time.  But, there is definitely someone out there who exemplifies Christ to you, who reminds you to repent and be thankful, who’s very presence moves you to tears, and causes you to worship the Lord and say "thank you God, thank you for this person, thank you that they love me enough to push me to love you more than themselves."  I can say this with my deepest conviction about Candis.

Candis and I comprise of a communication impossibility.  I am logical, all about content, and almost robotic in delivery and in processing what things in my life mean.  She is more of a feeler, all about delivery, and extremely passionate in her delivery.  I say that I want to have a steak dinner for our date night, and that’s exactly what I mean.  But Candis will take what I say, how I’ve said it, the context in which I’ve said it, the circumstances of what was said, and will imply an infinite number of possibilities to what I mean to say from what I said.  Many of our conversations have been straight up… "that’s not what I said…" "no… but that’s what you meant to say."  And all the while, I’m like "huh?"  And she’s like… "the way you said it made it seem like you meant this…" and I’m like… "no, i meant exactly what I said verbatim."  And yes this all sounds quite funny, but I think the more we realize our very polar thought patterns and defaults, we uncover more of our weaknesses, which helps to expose more areas of our lives to grow.  Candis can empathize, understand what’s going on under the surface… she can conclude things I would not see in a million years in just one sentence.  I can… be straight up with people… be confrontational, and straight up.  Clearly Candis wins here interpersonally… since most people find me to be intimidating, presumptuous, arrogant, and a little pushy.  But in being with her, my weakness is becoming my prime area of growth as I learn to communicate with her and understand how she sees things.  In the same way, her ability to be up front and straight with me and others is improving as she learns to deal with my incessant dan-isms.

All this to say… she represents one of the sharpest tools God has wielded to make me more like Him, and I can say whole heartedly, I couldn’t be more thankful.  Five days from now, we will start the journey that will take us to the end of our lives or Jesus’s return, and the excitement is truly not the day of, or aspirations for what our family will be like moving forward… but I’m just so excited to see how more of God will be revealed to me through this partnership.  It gets me excited because in 27 years of life, I’ve seen what God has done already… and with many years to come… with Candis at my side… it’s sure to be a fantastic adventure which God has placed before us as we together, uncover more of God’s mysterious grace and glory in our lives.

In the general sense, being with someone changes you.  Being engaged to someone changes you even more.  But when I think of Candis, I remember that slight but powerful difference we have in Christ.  Because for us… being with Candis helps me to change to be more like Christ, and being engaged to Candis helps me to change even more to be like Christ.  Imagine what will happen when we’re married… Lord, we are excited for what You’re going to do.  Five days away to our marriage… no… we look instead to a taste of what will be an eternity spent with You.  Bring the noise… cuz God’s going to use team dandis to bring some salt and light… game on.